Embracing the Ebb and Flow
I don't do anything halfway. My perfectionism virtually guarantees that I'll never cut corners on a project. On the contrary, I'm far more likely to obsess and overcomplicate my work, hobbies, and processes.
I don't have any illusions about this aspect of my personality. It can often be a real asset, driving me to effective and satisfying results. I'm grateful for that. Other times, it can be a liability, slowing my progress to a snail's pace and producing crippling anxiety. Those instances are harder to accept. But I've found success and stagnation to be two sides of the same, inseparable coin. Would I give up the good to avoid the bad? Most days, my answer would be no.
Things get more interesting when it comes to creative pursuits. If I don't have a clear direction for a project or see a decisive path forward, I tend to press pause. The result can be infrequent output, as I'm unlikely to put something into the world unless I have a baseline of confidence in it. I've found that internet creator culture sometimes emphasizes quantity over quality. Being consistent and prolific is prized. But I find myself resisting that idea - I'd rather be quiet until I sincerely believe I have something to contribute.
If I'm being honest, I thought I'd have published more in 2023 than I have. Late December brought the (far and away) most popular post this blog has seen, and I was excited to see what momentum might be there for future entries. But I didn't have much to say. Instead, the first part of the year has been focused more on nurturing my creative inputs: I've finished four books, engaged with excellent writing and music, and enjoyed quietly recharging.
I'm reminding myself that all of this is okay. Creativity ebbs and flows, and both are critical to the process (at least for me). I don't doubt I'll have more to write sometime soon, and you'll find it here when I do. In the meantime, I'm embracing the current season with openness. And to those reading, consider this my encouragement to you, no matter where you are in your own creative process!
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